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4/15/1998

BLASPHEMY
"Welcome home, daddy!"
"Thanks son! Say, y'know what I did today?"
"No, daddy, what did you do?"
"I bought the largest government per capita in the world!"
"Wow!"
"And that's not all! I bought a massive army to defend it and us. I bought roads, schools, parks, heck I even got us a space program!"
"Gee, dad, where did you get that? And how could you afford it?"
"A mere 30% of my income, son."
"Wow, that's not much for the American dream!"
"No, son, it's the lowest percentage tax in the industrialized world."
"Golly. So why do people complain so darn much?"
"I don't know, son. Maybe they're just selfish. Or maybe they've been listening to that Bortz guy too much. Ah well, feel like going out to dinner?"
"Yeah, and we can drive on OUR road!!"
"Ha ha ha. Sure, son, sure... if it's open."
"What?"
"Well, our government isn't all good."
"What do you mean?"
"Along with roads, we have things like inefficient and apathetic bureaucrats, corrupt officials, government sponsored terrorism (both at home and abroad)..."
"Wait, dad, that only happens in the middle east!"
"Oh no, son, we send people all over the world to make sure American interests are protected! And here at home we don't want anyone to disturb our precious way of life, now do we?"
"But dad, isn't that being selfish too?"
"Uh... be quiet, son, I'm trying to listen to Niel Bortz."
Excerpt from a soon-to-be-produced series of Degenerate public service announcements!

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