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11/16/2003

PARDON OUR VIRTUAL DUST

We’ve got the new PC 75% functional, just gotta install more software and hardware. One warning – we are now Windows and Outlook users and, though we hope to have our virus protection updated soon, that will bring all the usual security holes that come along with Microsoft products! So please let us know ASAP if you ever encounter any problems with our ezine!
Thanks to degenerate JDP for the hardware, degenerate CD for a pile of software, and degenerate GS for a peripheral or two.


BLASPHEMY
Now THIS is funny:
http://www.theonionavclub.com/3944/redmeat.html


FILM FLAM
Degenerate SW has been a movie-seeing fiend lately! Here’s her take on recent flicks.
"Love Actually" is a steaming heap of schmaltzy, Christmasy,
tear-at-yer-heart-strings-with-both-hands, contrived load of British
crap. I sort of enjoyed it until the never-ending,
can-this-get-any-worse, HAPPY endings. "Cue swelling music and everyone
KISS!" sort of movie. Blah.
The fella who plays Tim on BBCAmerica's "The Office" - the little Mickey
Rooney lookalike - is in it. It's an ensemble movie, so his bit is
pretty small, but he is naked for most of it. He's adorable; as is his
mostly naked co-star, Joanna Page.
Cuteness aside, considering the sizable talents involved in this movie
(Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Laura Linney, Alan Rickman,
Rowan Atkinson) one must assume either they've all lost their minds or
director Richard Curtis made a pact with the devil. Perhaps he IS the
devil. Or the British Ron Howard.
If you cringe every year at the first sight of Salvation Army bell
ringers, lighted-scented-flocked-bedecked wreaths and candy canes, run
away. If the phrase "deck the halls with boughs of holly" makes you
want to deck someone's face with blows of fury then sprint away. Go see
"The Human Stain" if you really want a movie about Love, actually.
"The Human Stain" accomplishes with just a handful of well-crafted
characters what "Love Actually" attempts with it's huge cast and dozen
storylines: to illustrate the array of love. Both films dissect new
love; unrequited love; crazy love; love between brothers & sisters,
parents & children, old friends; platonic love; self love; first loves,
etc. The difference is "The Human Stain" is not a one trick pony. It's
also a film about loss. Rediscovery. Frustration. Passion. Duty.
Pain.
Anthony Hopkins and Nicole Kidman show off their chops as mismatched
lovers in a small New England town. Their relationship is the
springboard for monumental revelations that will eventually touch
everyone they know. While it's the better of the two, the film's
delivery is as cold as the wintry landscape it captures. Perhaps that's
the point. This movie isn't the feel-good sensation of the season that
"Love Actually" aspires to be. "The Human Stain" is an Serious film and
an obvious plea for Oscar Nominations while "Love Actually" is a
popularity contest. "You like me! Right now, I can feel it, you REALLY
like me!" Figuring out which movie to see depends on your level of
bah-humbug-ness.
"Bubba Ho-Tep" is a spectacular farce that pits the elderly King of Rock-n-Roll
against a back-from-the-dead, here-to-suck-your-soul Egyptian Mummy. Seems the
King is alive and not-so-well living in a nursing home in Texas. His hip is
busted, he drifts in and out of consciousness, his pecker's got a cantankerous
pustule, and no one believes he's Elvis Presley. No one, that is, except JFK
(played convincingly by Ossie Davis) who resides down the hall. Together the
pair do some hefty Scooby-Doo sleuthing and discover that an ancient mummy is
stealing the nursing home residents' souls right out from under their poop
chutes!
With that premise, I thought the movie would be wackier than it is, but our hero is
treated with such seriousness and dignity that the joke is almost lost.
Throughout the movie we hear Elvis's regretful thoughts through voiceover. He,
like everyone, ponders the meaning and mistakes of his life while grieving for
his lost youth. He's a King without a kingdom. A washed up old man who is cast off,
forgotten and unloved. It's fitting that he should find solace in a final, selfless act --
taking care of business and karate-kicking a little Mummy ass.
The cast is fantastic (particularly the luminous Ella Joyce as Elvis's nurse).
There are some terrifically memorable lines. All in all it's a fabulous ride.
Bubba Ho-Tep is destined to become a cult classic. See it while it's in town!

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