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2/2/2005
EAR PLUGS
Got this query from degenerate HH, who happens to be a locally published music
critic:
I read your weekly or biweekly transmissions and am always entertained. However,
I have noticed a rather constant dis of Smith's Olde Bar. I don't believe you
have ever stated your reasons for not liking the venue, and I sure don't have
any emotional or commercial ties to the place, but I wonder what your problem is
with it.
Is it the frat-heavy audience? Or the curtain around the stage? Or what? On the
plus side, the sound is always good, they book an interesting and rather varied
calendar of acts, they treat local bands with respect and pay them fairly, they
are really good to local writers like you and I for guest list things..I mean
what is the beef here?
OK, so it's not as grungy hip as the Star Bar, Lenny's or the late Echo, but
those places have/had their own problems, and at the very least, I feel safe in
the Smith's neighborhood. And my car has never gotten broken into when going to
a show there, something I can't say about the hipper places in town. So maybe
give them a break. They work hard at doing benefits for local causes, always
support local talent and have a Monday 3 bands for 5 bucks night that functions
as an open mic type thing.
Editor’s Response:
I’ve mentioned my beef(s) with Smith’s in passing, but since you asked, here’s
the shotgun approach:
1) Their beverage selection, particularly upstairs, sucks.
2) Their beverage prices, both up and downstairs, suck.
3) The crowd, as you say, leans toward the frat-boy/sorority-girl end.
3a) They’re rude - I’ve been to many shows there where I couldn’t hear the
performance because of the chatter. And I’m not just talking the unplugged days
of Asylum Street Spankers. Hey, I like to talk, especially while drinking, but
they have a whole damn bar downstairs for socializing.
3b) I can’t tell them apart. What the hell is up with people who can’t dress
themselves and just buy whatever is offered off the rack at Macy’s? If I see one
more guy in a baseball cap, polo shirt, thin leather belt, and pleated khakis
(or shorts and sandals, depending on the weather), it’ll be one too many. I’ll
go off the deep end. At least women have a wider variety of clothing, but I
don’t find the women at Smith’s (with a few exceptions for the staff) attractive
in the least.
3c) I can’t stand vapid people and every time I go there it seems to be either
vapid yuppie scum, or neohippies. Don’t get me wrong, some of my best friends
are neohippies (degenerates JH and LH, I’m looking at you…) but generally the
nights I’m there with the neohippy crowd are the nights I’ve been dragged by my
neohippy friends and the jam/groove music eventually drives me out the door and
I wind up downstairs alone.
4) I’ve found the staff there to be brusque in general. Not Masquerade-style
intentionally rude, but not my preferred dive-style friendly.
5) The upstairs smells funny (perhaps the carpet has finally reached the
supersaturated point after 10 years of absorbing beer and other fluids?)
6) I never arrive in time to get a seat and there’s only so much time I can
stand on my flat feet. (Yes, this is a problem at 95% of the venues in town.)
7) Most of their shows are $3-10 more than I’m willing to spend.
8) The jukebox downstairs is often so loud I can’t carry on a conversation.
Alternately, the live music upstairs is so quiet I can’t help but hear half the
conversations in the room. What the hell?
9) The place gets very crowded for a good show, which makes the bar upstairs
difficult to get to, and nearly impossible to get service from.
10) I don’t know the staff ‘cause I ain’t a regular. I became a regular of other
bars for good reason, but because I’m a regular is good reason to keep going
back. I know the bartenders. They know me. They know what I like. They give me
decent service and are willing to chat when I show up early and I’m the only
soul in the place. Sure, I could BECOME a regular at Smith’s, but refer to
reasons 1-9. The inertia is against them. Or me…
11) When Smith’s opened I had lived in Midtown for many years. I popped in,
expecting to find a new gay bar, only to find something that seemed to belong
more in the Highlands or Buckhead (back then Buckhead still had neighborhood
bars.) My disappointment kept me away for a while, thus the beginnings of the
inertia mentioned above.
On the plus side, they have the downstairs bar for socializing. They serve food.
They have a variety of distractions like billiards, darts, and an (almost always
broken) pinball machine. The sound quality is consistently good. The round stage
offers a bit more room to stand around the edges and still enjoy the show.
Were I writing an ezine recommending fun things to do for insipid frat guys and
the vaccuous women they persue, I’d probably be at Smith’s all the time. But
that ain’t me, and thus far I *AM* Degenerate Press.
Unlike Underground, I don’t have anything personal (OK, not much) against
Smith’s. Occasionally there will be a show that, in my opinion, outweighs all
the negative aspects of the joint. There are a lot of venues in this town we
don’t recommend – 10 High, Masquerade, anything in Buckhead. And we don’t get
OTP very often. But once a year or so I end up at one of the above and am
reminded why I don’t go more often, and why we don’t recommend shows in such
venues in this publication.
But hey, just this once for you (don’t say we never do requests), here’s some
upcoming shows we’d recommend at Smith’s, if we could tolerate the place:
February 16, Wednesday
Dirty Dozen Brass Band, De Sol at Smith’s.
February 17, Thursday
Artimus Pyledriver, Edgewood, Infernal Machine at Smith’s.
February 18, Friday
The Codetalkers, featuring Col. Bruce Hampton, at Smith’s.
Heck, while we’re at it there’s a bunch of bands we love playing The Alleycat
Lounge on Saturday nights at midnight for the next several weeks at Underground.
See www.alleycatclub.com for details. And 10 High has Subsonics on February 10,
Thursday, with Weak Lazy Liar, and Modern Skirts. And some funk band called
Heavyweight has been pestering us to list their show there February 16. (I love
me some funk, so you’d think I’d like 10 High, what with the funky smell the
place exudes, but no, I hate that place. Need to know why? Well, re-read the
notes above about Smith’s but just imagine I’m talking about 10 High, but
without the plus side…)
Oh, and the Hawks are playing down at the dome. Heck, if I had the Six Flags
schedule for next summer I’d post that too.
As always, we welcome dissenting opinion. Send us a review of a venue, or show
at a venue, and we’re 99% likely to run it! Heck, my cranky opinion shouldn’t be
the only one in this rag but thus far I’m hard pressed to get anyone else to put
fingers to buttons and write me somethin’…
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