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4/20/2005
FILM FLAM
Sunday's Mondo Movie Night was excellent. They kicked things off with a very
strange and surprisingly violent Micky Mouse cartoon, followed by a bunch of
hilarious old trailers. The feature films started off Bloody Momma, with Shelly
Winters as Ma Barker, a young Robert De Niro as one of the Barker boys, Bruce
Dern as the only non-Barker man in the Barker gang. Shelly Winters' performance
is perfect for the film - over the top. Unlike many other movies about outlaws,
you don't really root for the bad guy in this one. In fact, by the end of Bloody
Momma we were hoping one of the boys would blast momma before the cops finished
them all off. But it provided tons of laughs and heckling opportunities,
definite worthy of the drive in.
Next up, House of Usher, an Edgar Allan Poe story given movie treatment. The
problem with a lot of Poe's work, and much of the horror writing of that time
period, is the fear is all internal to the character. It's not what might
eventually happen that's scary, it's what the character(s) feel or think that is
supposed to be scary. Well, it's not really that scary any more what with the
nightly news being far more horrifying, and it doesn't really work on screen
either. Despite being a fan of Vincent Price, and director Roger Corman, this
film couldn't hold my attention. There wasn't even enough dialogue for good
heckling. The house just couldn't fall fast enough for a chilly Sunday night at
the drive in, so we hit the road half an hour into it.
The drive in staff was also handing out flyers detailing the upcoming Mondo
Movies and Drive Inanity so check the Prophesy section for more.
We returned to the drive in on Tuesday, despite my reservations, for Amityville
Horror. I’m not a fan of ghost or horror films and I’m sick to death of remakes,
but SW had missed the drive in trips of late so we tossed the cooler and lawn
chairs in the truck and headed down Moreland Ave for a night under the stars.
I always got Amityville and Poltergeist (and both of their innumerable sequels)
mixed up. It seems like the filmmakers of this new version got Amityville,
Poltergeist, and The Shining mixed up, and didn’t really know how to make a new
movie as scary as any of them so they just put them in a blender, added heaps of
special effects, and pressed frappe. The results are predictably bland and
uneven. And I have to pause yet again to complain about America. (I’m a liberal
so I hate it, right?)
(Begin Rant)
What’s up with a movie where you can show a whole family, including children,
get shot in their beds, blood splattering on the walls, show the child later as
an undead revenant wandering around with the back of her head blown off, yet the
sex scene is 100% nipple, butt and bush free? One of the most disappointing
things in the documentary Inside Deep Throat was the statements by various
talking heads of the time that they thought with the success of Deep Throat sex
would make it’s way into mainstream cinema. In fact, just the opposite happened
thanks to the backlash of the authorities and the eruption of the home video
market. Sex is now segregated, as if it’s unnatural, yet violence is getting
shoved down our throats through every form of media every minute of every day.
Goddamn, people, do you wonder why America is such a violent place full of
nutcases with hang-ups about sex?
(End Rant)
You might like Amityville. It’s vaguely kinda sorta loosely based on a “true”
story and they make an effort to toss in some documentary-like footage of the
killings that did take place at the house before the new family moved in, but
from about that point forward it’s more like a Nine Inch Nails video than
anything believable. If that scares or thrills you, go for it. If that bores or
annoys you, stay far, far away.
BLASPHEMY
So there’s a new pope – another old white guy who’s against homosexuality, gay
marriage, birth control, abortion, doctor-assisted suicide, pre-marital sex,
stem cell research, pretty much any sin or vice I hold near and dear to my
heart, at the helm of another powerful organization.
Ah well. It’s not like me and the Catholic Church could be friends anyhow. Sure,
I love a lot of the great art they’ve funded over the years, but I have to
balance that against the crusades, the inquisition, the missionaries, the
persecution of scientists and humanists and anyone that thought maybe a bunch of
corrupt pedophiles shouldn’t be the sole arbiters of our day-to-day lives.
Last I checked, the AJC had a great photo on their home page of the new pope
holding a big, diamond-studded gold cup.
Degenerate GT emailed me, quoting Lil' John, "What? What? Yeeeeeeaaaaaaahhh!!"
which spawned this:
The Differences Between Popes and Pimps:
That's a Pope Cup, not a Pimp Cup.
Pimps have ho's, Popes have nuns.
Pimps wear expensive clothes and silly hats, Popes wear… well, expensive clothes
and silly hats.
Pimps drive tricked-out cars at slow speeds so they can be seen by the populace,
the Pope… hey, wait a minute! Maybe there isn’t really a difference after all…
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